Showing posts with label Prayer Request. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Prayer Request. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Grieving through a Miscarriage

This is not something I thought I would ever be writing about. Honestly, it's one of those things you hear about, but that you don't think will ever happen to you. At this point I'm not even sure how I feel about it, but I just know that I need to share.

Never in a million years did I think I this would happen to me. With Landry everything was perfect. The first month we tried to get pregnant, we did. I had an almost perfect pregnancy. I guess I took it for granted and thought it would happen just like that again.

We tried for 4 months this time, still not a long time, but longer than I thought it would take. I woke up on Monday morning. I went to boot camp like normal and then came home to shower. I decided I would take the pregnancy test, but I just had this feeling (much like I did with Landry). I got in the shower without even looking at the results because I knew what it would say. I was right! I was pregnant and we were so excited!

We decided not to tell our families right away this time because we wanted to be able to surprise them. However, I did call the doctor. She ask that I come in and have blood work done just to confirm since I was going to have to start taking my Lovnenox shots right immediately.

I did that on Tuesday. My doctor called me back on Thursday and confirmed that I was pregnant. She said my numbers were low. I didn't think anything about it, I knew I was watching my cycle like a hawk and caught it early. Plus, Joel and I had both been sick and throwing up on Monday and I thought that might have skewed my numbers. She ask me to come back in on Friday to make sure that my numbers were doubling like they are supposed to.

Went in on Friday, no big deal. Friday night, I had a tiny tiny tiny bit of blood. I knew that wasn't normal and now I was a little worried. I had one of the worst nights sleep... I woke up at 4 AM and this time there was a lot more blood. I tried not to worry about it and go back to sleep, but in my heart, I knew what this meant.

I ended up calling the doctor to see if there was anything I could do to stop it. I wished for some magic pill or position I could lay in, ANYTHING! She confirmed what I already knew. I woke Joel up and told him what was happening. Then I called my mom, this is not the way I wanted to tell her I was pregnant.

Saturday was a day of depression in our house. We didn't do anything. We kept all the windows closed and I laid on the couch all day. I was scared to move or do anything. I just kept thinking if I rest this will stop, but it didn't.

On Sunday we had to go to church because I was working. If I hadn't been working I can guarantee you we would have had another day of depression. On the way to church a song came on about praising God in all things and I lost it. How can I praise God when my child has just been taken from me? I looked at Joel and told him I couldn't do it. I couldn't go into church and put on a happy face and act like everything was ok.

I went anyway. I sat in the back and didn't say much, I didn't know what to say or who to tell. And I knew the second I opened my mouth I was going to lose it again. So I sat in church with a broken heart trying to listen and get something out it.

I went downstairs and began my duty working with the preschoolers. After everything was settled, Pam, our preschool minister, came to check on me. I told her what was happening. She looked me in the eye and 'oh Carissa, I've been there'. It was as if God knew I needed to hear those words. It was as if God was saying my name in that moment. I broke down in the middle of the hallway. Pam was the only person I had spoken those words to outside of my family. She prayed with us and it was so comforting.

A few minutes later Andi came down the hall and said that she had been there too. She didn't offer advice or cooping strategies. She just told me she had been there 3 times and then ask what specifically she could pray for.

A few minutes later Loyce stepped out from teaching 4 year olds and ask if I was ok. She said she noticed something was wrong. So I told her. She too said she had been there. Didn't offer advice, only prayers.

On that day when I needed it most, God put not 1, not 2, but 3 women in my path that had been right where I was. None of them offered advice or help, they knew it wasn't what I needed. They simply offered their prayers.

I never knew any of these women had been through this terrible thing they call a miscarriage. It's one of those things that no one ever talks about. It's hard to talk about it. Nobody really wants to hear about it. You don't know what to say or how to act. It's not a club I want to be in, but I feel the need to share my story.

If you are going through a miscarriage tell someone. More than likely someone close to you has been there. Please know that you are not alone.

Prayer request - tomorrow I go back to the doctor for more blood work. Basically, I have to come back with a negative pregnancy test to make sure I'm not having a tubal pregnancy. I still don't know how to feel. I wanted that baby so bad. As soon as I got the positive pregnancy test, that was my child. It was my job to protect them, and for some reason my body couldn't.

This whole situation still feels like an out of body experience. I am cramping and having lower back pain, but for the most part the physical side of things hasn't been bad. It's the emotional side that is the worst. I keep waking up in the mornings thinking I should be pregnant. I wonder how long this will go on. When will I get over this? I know I will, but right now it seems like that is so far away. Although I never held that sweet baby in my arms, I will always hold them in my heart.

brokenhearted miscarriage

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Landry's Baby Dedication

I have been praying for Landry since before I found out I was pregnant. We want to raise Landry to know and love God. So today we dedicated to raise Landry in His ways in front of our church congregation.

We are so blessed to attend such a wonderful church that cares so much for Landry, and all the other babies our class is having.

Pastor Gary explaining what is going to happen.


The childrens minister Pam. So glad to have her coordinating the nurseries. Glad she is apart of Landry's life.






Our pastor explaining what it means to raise Landry for the Lord.



Gary is not used to dedicating babies that can't hold their heads up yet.


And of course, mommy had to peek during the prayer.


Thank you to all of our friends and family for your love and support as we continue on this journey in parenthood.

Friday, June 22, 2012

C-Section


I just need to get this off my chest. 

Last night after Bible study us girls sat around talking about c-sections (three of us are pregnant and 1 has a one year old). And I just found out today that another person I know is going to have a c-section. It just seems like everyone I know lately has had a c-section. Co-workers, friends, family members, etc. I realize that you don’t always have a choice, things happen, but honestly, I don’t want to have surgery. I don’t know why I feel so strongly about this, but I do. I say that now, but if the doctor came to me tomorrow and said that the best thing for Landry is a c-section, I would do it in a heartbeat no questions asked. I don’t want to offend anyone who has had a c-section, I totally understand that sometimes that is what’s best. However, if you could just do me a favor and pray for a vaginal birth for Landry I would appreciate it. I know everything is in God’s hands and He knew what would happen long before I even thought about having a baby. In the end I complete trust that He is in control of the situation and if that means a c-section then so be it. It won’t be the end of the world, but I would prefer a vaginal birth.

Thanks for the prayers.

Monday, June 11, 2012

A little scare

**Let me start by saying that I am including details that not all of you will want to read.**

A little background info. I went for my weekly visit on May 30. We had an ultrasound to check everything out and there were two things that didn't look right!

First, Landry's left kidney was enlarged. Since I have an ultrasound every week they said we would watch it. I was told that after he was born we would notify the pediatrician and he would have to have his own little sonogram to check it out. They did say that it would probably correct itself once he started peeing on his own.

Second, I was told that I had a blood spot on my placenta and I needed to watch for spot bleeding. And to let them know if I noticed anything.

We only told a few close friends and family because it wasn't anything too worrisome.

Well, on June 8th I went back to the doctor for my next check up. Landry's kidney is still enlarged, but it has gone down. They said we don't have anything to worry about!! Woo hoo! So glad to hear that he fine! They also did a vaginal check and told me that I was effacing, so that's a good sign that he will come on his own. Another woo hoo!

Fast forward to Saturday... no one told me I would spot bleed after my exam. Friday night, it was no big deal, but Saturday when I woke up it seemed to be getting worse. And to top it off at 11am I hadn't felt Landry move all day. So I called the doctor. She told me to drink something sugary and see if I can get him to move. She also said that if the bleeding doesn't stop to go ahead and come in.

I drank a Dr. Pepper and was able to get Landry to move, but the bleeding didn't stop. So at 3ish in the afternoon Joel and I headed labor and delivery. I was probably the calmest person to ever walk up to the check in counter.

They checked me in and tested me and we got to listen to Landry's heart beat for a solid 30 minutes! Music to my ears! As it turns out Landry is completely fine!! And I am paranoid (which is what I was hoping they would tell me)!

So it was an interesting weekend, but no baby yet! However, between Friday and Saturday I dilated 1cm, so something was going on in my body.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Prayer Request

I told our ABF on Sunday, but I thought I would let everyone here in the blog world no so that you can be praying as well.

Joel's Mimi found out last week that she has Merkel Cell Carcinoma. It is a rare form of skin cancer. She has started a blog to share with all of her friends and family her progress. I thought I would share it here.

Please remember the whole family in your prayers! THANKS!

Monday, August 22, 2011

Praying for the Cannons

My best friend from high school Krista is leaving for Germany. Please pray for her and her husband, Chris, as they travel to spread God's word to the German people.


Krista,

We have been friends for a long time, and I know you have been praying about Germany for years. I am so happy that you found a man who has the heart for the German people just like you do! I will miss you while your gone, but I know God is going to use you for great things! I can't wait to hear all about the amazing things He is doing. May He bless you and keep you!

-Carissa


Tuesday, June 21, 2011

I have some explaining to do...

So on Friday I posted this, I was in a hurry so I didn't really get to explain the importance of this.

A couple of weeks ago, Joel posted on Facebook that he had gotten a job at NationStar mortgage. We were thrilled and it was a huge answer to prayers! He was going to be a loan counselor. Basically, that is a glamorous name for someone who calls people when they are past due on their mortgage. The hours were going to be 7am - 3pm or 3pm - 11pm. I wasn't looking forward to him having to work till 11, but I was so excited for him to have a job it almost didn't matter. Anyways, they did a background check on him which took 2 weeks (it was clean don't worry). Then they officially extended him an offer. He was then scheduled to begin work on the 20th of June.

Meanwhile, he interviewed with Reach Local an online advertising company and didn't get the job. It would have been a better job than NationStar, but we weren't to terribly disappointed because we knew he still had another job.

Meanwhile BCBS, who Joel had interviewed with back in April and had been passed over for the job, called and said they had another Assistant Underwriter position open. They wanted to know if he would be interested. Since, at that time he didn't 'officially' have the job at NationStar (not that we were worried), he said he was interested.

Well, Friday afternoon as I was pulling into our apartment complex, I noticed Joel pull in behind me. I thought it was strange since he was supposed to be packing the car... Anyway we both got out of our cars and he told me he had some bad news. My heart was racing because I knew it had to do with a job. He went on to tell me that he wasn't going to be starting on Monday. I asked him why not, and he said cause he had to quit. WHAT!!! Then it hit me, YOU GOT THE JOB AT BCBS? He smiled and hugged me and said "Yep".

You have no idea what a huge answer to prayers this is. We hugged and both cried, I was relieved, thankful, excited, and happy all at once.

It has been along time coming, and I know God's timing is perfect. If he had gotten this job back in April he would have gone to Chicago for 6 weeks for training. Since he got it now, all the training will be in house here in Richardson. It is literally 10 minutes from our house. The benefits are GREAT and the salary is exactly what we wanted and more than either of the other jobs.

Thank you for all of your prayers and support! God is good and we are so thankful for all of you.

Friday, June 17, 2011

ANNOUNCEMENT

JOEL GOT A JOB AT BCBS!! 


To GOD be all the glory! This a HUGE answer to prayers and we know it's because our God and King has better plans for us! Thank you to everyone who has been praying for us, God is good!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Mid-year Follow Up

1. Grow closer to God and continue to seek him more
It's hard to judge this one, but I have been more consistent in my quiet time and prayer time. These last few months have been full of trials, but I felt the Lord near.

2. Read one book per month
On average, I have read one book a month. However, it took me till March to get started, but now that I am I think it will continue.

3. Watch less TV
We got rid of our cable a month or so ago and that has really helped, so I would say I am doing pretty good on this goal.

4. Exercise more (20 minutes 3 times a week)
HA! I have decided that I hate working out... The last few weeks I have been more active, but it is getting too hot outside!

5. Finish a couple of scrapbooks that I have started
Again, HA! I completely forgot this was on my list!

6. Blog more often (and write in my personal journal more)
Yes, I have done this one!

7. Pay off debt (I won't say how much and we won't be able to pay it all off this year, but that is a five year goal to be debt free)
One down more to go, but we are one the road to success in this area.

8. Volunteer more
Joel and I will be volunteering on the 25th, but we need to look for more opportunities to do this.

9. Eat out less, meal plan more
Semi successful on this front... I need more recipes.

10. Date night with Joel at least once a month. (This has to be a goal because his schedule is so crazy it won't happen otherwise)
We have had several date nights in and we have gone out lots with friends, but we haven't had many dates just the two of us. Hopefully, this will change soon as Joel starts his new job.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Prayer Request

As some of you have read in my past blog post Joel and I are trying to pay off our debt! Well, we have had a little set back. Joel was let go from Aldi on Friday. However, Joel has two job interviews today. One of them is with a commercial real estate company and the other is with the number one recruiter in Dallas. Hopefully, something will come up soon.

So far I haven't really been stressed out. I have actually had a peace about me. That can only be explain by God. I know His hand is in the middle of this trial and He is going to pull us through.

On a side note I am totally LOVING my time with Joel in the evenings! Tonight our puppy was soooooooooo adorable! He was cuddling on the couch with me all night. At one point he was just laying there with his nose in the couch. We couldn't figure it out... oh well it cute!